"It terrifies me to say this, but I can no longer disown the thought that I’ve wondered if someone out there at some point has thought of having me. I’ve crafted fairy tales of someones and myself — absolutely, but I want the other kind of tale with all the parts that disconcerts my world. It’s… just a thought. Who’d craft a world with me as a part of it as theirs? Who’d lay in bed with thoughts of me as their last with the hope of having dreams projected into this reality? Who’d not care about the potential chaoses because of the promise of hope that we’d make it through with that thing… that feeling they call love? Who’d think such a thing of me? The thought baffles me into tickles and laughter that another human being could project me into sunlight you can stare into without shades. I have done it, so it’s possible — or is it narcissistic that I conjured up myself worthy for thoughts and wants? Ha! There will be a point when the quietude of our desires can no longer be blackmailed or suffocated into the silence. The cluster of fear regarding the unknown can be a great feeling if we just stop predicting the future and create the moment."

— scatterbrained thoughts, 18

posted 1 year ago