"The credits of this film are coming in from great heights and going down to the depths of some dark place to signal the end. I can feel the walls vibrating, moving closer to imitate intimacy but it’s truly there for a kill. Breathing was involuntary and now I am so consciously aware of it that I’m coughing, burning and blackening my lungs to match a smoker’s. Then there’s that ache in the heart that makes it painfully drum louder than any other sound, but it’s not loud enough to silence my snide thoughts. This is the part where we hug and cling to each other, hoping the embrace would tell the other everything we kept hushed in pillows. I am the victor of this parting, my friend, my love. I have been selfishly pushing you away for months to make this farewell easier on myself. It is most unfortunate that the following friend, the next love that I find I will do the same to before the closing credits move along the screen and the final song starts to play. It is certainly unfortunate that I refuse to enjoy our last days together to its fullest because I’m afraid and running, running …"

— scatterbrained thoughts, 14.

posted 1 year ago